Friday, December 16th, 2011
It ended in tears. It could have ended with bloodshed or a visit to the dentist, but it went otherwise. I never thought I'd say that being threatened with violence would be the best thing that happened to me in a day.
Driving North on AB 2, it takes about four and a half hours from Nanton to Edmonton. The drive is mostly flat, but decorated with a few inclines of varying grades. There is also the sprawling city of Calgary in between, but nothing of note happened there. Some two and a half hours into the trip, I can tell that I'll be needing to use the restroom soon. Even better, I'll be able to take a shower at the Flying J in Red Deer, AB. I know they have showers there, but I have no idea if they have showers at my Flying J fuel stop in Nisku, AB. So I press on, bladder filling a bit more all the while.
I could have stopped some where along the way at one of the roadside pullouts, but my jug was full and it made no sense to stop twice in such a short span. After all, Exit 401 is only 41km away. I can wait 25 minutes.
Cruising along at speed, I find myself at exit 396, almost there, when a truck pulls out onto the freeway in front of me. Now for some reason, this guy is going about 16 kph under the speed limit, which is 110 kph. Seeing that my bladder is full, I start growing restless at the delay, even to the point of being upset. I realize somewhere in the back of my mind that this is my own doing, but that is way in the back. Occupying the main stage of my brain is, “why the fuck is this guy going so slow! I have to pee!” I could have pulled around him were it not for the incredible amount of traffic; but then again, I would only have to cut him off as he was getting off at the next exit.
Exiting the highway, he is going WAY below a speed that any sane trucker would go. He turns off the ramp, in the direction I intend to go, then cuts me off with a sudden lane change at the last minute. I'm still a bit miffed about that. Then he drives into the Flying J at something like 10kp/h and I lose it. I drive around the fuel island, sliding on the ice as I turn. Parking my truck a few down from him, (it is a small lot) I get out to take a shower, thinking that I have nothing to say to this guy.
Turns out that I did, and he started with apologizing for going so slow, since he was leaking air. I didn't want to hear that. I exclaimed with some degree of vexation that he had cut me off and almost took off my front end with that sudden lane change (which was a bit of an exaggeration on my part). He became defensive and said that I shouldn't have been there. I persisted saying something to the effect that his driving was irresponsible (because it was) and he then threatened to punch me in the mouth. “Same thing as me almost hitting your front end you little puke. Running your mouth like that. Stop your damn whining.” All the way into the truck stop. I was close to getting decked.
As I entered my code in the driver's kiosk for a shower, it occurred to me. he was right. I had done nothing but complain about something that was beyond my control. I had forgotten about compassion. I had been storing up anger for the last two days from a source more or less unknown to me. It came out in a threat of violence.
I took my shower quickly, for fear that he would slash my tires or something like that. I got out, and he was at the counter, buying something. I walked up to him and apologized. I truly felt really bad for not taking the time to be compassionate and think of his situation. I asked if there was anything I could do for him. The only thing he needed was someone to listen to him and his trouble. Which, ironically, is the very whining he said I was doing and that nobody wanted to hear. Still, he had something on his chest he needed to get off, and my listening to it resulted in our truce, and handshake.
Heading back out to the truck, I had a good cry. I could feel the tension in my heart, leaving in sobs and tears. I will say that I still feel a bit left, but nothing near what I had been holding for these last few days. It is amazing how tension sneaks up on you. So I played some banjo and let out a few more tears afterward, expunging the bulk of the anger from my system. I'm sure it could have ended a lot worse.
You amaze me some days. Much love to you.
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