Monday, July
30th, 2012
What
keeps us running? Is it personal achievement? Fear of something?
Desire to get somewhere other than where we are? Trying to lose
weight? Doctors orders? I have my own answer for this question, but
I will certainly note that I've been running pretty solid for the
last four days, driving from Springfield, MO, up to Aurora, IL, then
over to Tacoma, WA. All this to make it back in time to leave again
going the other way.
When
you run so hard to get somewhere, the days go by in blurs. You take
the federally required minimum ten hours off, sleeping maybe six or
five of them. Hygiene takes a bit of a hit, since it seems like
there's no time for anything. There are some incidents that hold
prominence in my memory of the last week.
Leaving
Springfield, I was assigned a load out of the Kraft factory. I had
no idea how much different stuff Kraft makes, but have a look
sometime. I had settled in for a wait, since it was a live load, but
I was still in a bit of a hurry. You're always in a hurry when it is
time to go home. And I was hungry. My stomach was about to jump
out and get its own food. Walking into the shipper, the entrance way
is a makeshift break room, with vending machines against the far
wall, and a low table built into the near wall. The narrow path
between the obstacles was decorated with a smattering of chairs of
varying makes. They totally had a microwave. Rummaging in the
truck, I found that I had some microwavable Velveeta shells and
cheese. Oh yeah. Guess who makes that? I went in and joked with
the clerk about my lunch. He came back with a pouch of the cheese
sauce, flopped it on top of the microwave and said jokingly that the
big pouch was the real stuff. He walked away. A few hours later,
the pouch was still there, so I took it and put it in my truck.
Sitting on the floor, I found that after a couple hours it was rather
hot, as the floor heats up from the exhaust filter not too far under
the passenger seat. I will say that in a pinch, Velveeta makes a
good hot pack and will stay in your shirt for a good spell, the foil
stuck to your skin. Later in the week I tried easting the Velveeta
with some salty corn chips, figuring “nachos.” Bad idea. That
stuff is way to salty to be used as nacho cheese, at least with chips
like Fritos. So I tossed the bulk of the bag, sad for the loss of my
heating pack, but not that much.
Blowing
through Iowa and South Dakota, then a touch of Wyoming and into
Montana. In the South East part of the state, one will find the
monument to Wounded Knee. More specifically a pretty boy turned
slaughterer. (curly hair that would make Fabio jealous!) They even
named the national forest after that Custer guy. This time was much
different. A fire had swept through some time before. Entire trees
still standing upright, looking like spent matches. The Earth was
blackened in many places, in others it was scorched red, devoid of
any trace of organic matter. Some surviving trees showed traces of
where the heat had singed all of the needles off, as if the fire
still haunted the area, leaving a shadowy trace of its existence.
Little burnt out nubs of bunch grasses set amidst a blackened
landscape. And the smell. It still smelled like an ashtray. The
area reeked of char. For all of that, some annual grasses had
sprouted, brilliant yellow green, vibrant with new life among the
failed cinders, brought about by the recent rain that had swept
through. That whole scene will leave an impression for some time.
So
now I'm back, getting ready for the next adventure. I'll be hanging
up my CB for a little while at least, maybe for a long while if I
find something else I wish to pursue. Chances are that I'll be back
out on the road, running. From what though? I've been so busy
running for work that I've not really had time to take stock of my
life, to reflect on events, to experience my emotions, from joy to
grief. I have a lot I need to work through. I can see why some
people stay out on the road all of the time. Your problems can't
catch you if you are one step ahead of them. If you're always
focused on what you are doing right then, the thoughts get crowded
out by the present, for better or for worse. Still, some things do
need to be experienced, and this is what is happening for me now.,
now that I've stopped moving. For now.
