Sunday, February, 5th, 2012
Man, I tell ya, these short days are messing with my head. I have all this extra time of late and I get to doing things. Time just zips right on by. Heck I was almost asleep when I realized that I didn't write yet. That said, the banjo is coming along nicely. My fingers just might be up for the task.
So tonight I am in Boise, Idaho. I took the long way around this time, since my load was in Utah. Today's drive started about 0530 local time. I tried to go earlier, but my body was having non of that. Another restless night in the truck last night, something I hope to change by sleeping in tomorrow morning. Well, maybe until 8.
Driving at night is great, for many reasons. No traffic, better able to focus, probably some other things that are less important. This morning was different though. Driving down the I-15 corridor one finds themselves driving along some valley floors. Mountains loom nearby. While the details are certainly not apparent in the dead of night, that seemed irrelevant this morning. There is something about the rough silhouettes or the rocks. A deeper black tear, hewn from a deep inky blue fabric, speckled with stars. It was certainly a sight I wish I could have enjoyed longer, but you know, eyes on the road and all.
Picking up my load in Ogden, UT, I noticed the trailer was overdue for a federal inspection. Certainly not a serious offense, but no sense in me getting a citation for it, so I drove down to SLC to get that taken care of. you see, while it is still the company's equipment, ultimately it is the driver who bears the responsibility for such silly things like that. No permits? Driver needs to check that thing. Broken mudflap? Should have seen that on your pre-trip.
The quick lane in SLC certainly lived up to it's name. They simply walked around the trailer, took a cursory look at it, repaired a tail light and I was off again. I may have been more concerned about this had I not felt like I needed to rush, which upon reflection I did not. I'm not even sure if they checked the brakes. To my knowledge, the brakes are fine, and within tolerances. I'm just saying that I don't think they even looked. Still, it was satisfying to get out of there so quickly. The energy in that terminal is not something I care to wallow in. It just feels really negative.
I suppose I could work to turn it around, and I do my small part. I have realized recently that I can only do what I can do, and most importantly, I can only change how I am. My trying to fix the world around me will, in the end, have less impact than fixing the world within me. For as I change my inner world, the way I see the outer world changes, and my circumstances change based on my new perceptions.
While the above has nothing to do with trucking directly, it certainly has been a product of all the time spent behind the wheel. Here you are mostly powerless to change circumstance. Dude cut you off? Yeah. Happens all the time. You can accept it or resist it and get all angry at something beyond your control. Lots of little practical lessons. It certainly flexes those non-attachment muscles.
Trucking has also helped diminish my sense of self-importance. A very useful tool for the kid who had to be the best at everything. I seriously doubt if many people from High School would even recognize me these days. Or even college for that matter. Driving down the road for so many hours a day, one begins to realize that other people have stuff just as trivial, or as important to do as you have. No sense in getting bent out of shape because you need to break your cruise control. you'll always get there in the end.
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