Sunday,January, 29th, 2012
Ah, another day in paradise. The Lardeo terminal is a fairly roomy place, with two televisions for your viewing pleasure. I enjoy resting here, in part because the weather is usually stable and there is a short walk to a truck stop. Outside, little yellow and purple flowers are dancing merrily in the light breeze. It was warm enough today which has been a nice change of pace from being so far north. That said, it wouldn't be trucking with out some of the standards.
On the walk into the terminal, there is a smoking section. Since this is not a blue state, you can essentially smoke right outside the main entrance, no 25 foot restriction imposed. There is a row of blue picnic tables lined up a bit away from and parallel to the terminal wall. Since it is covered, there is plenty of reason to hang out here, shade and protection form what little rain passes through. I think that part of the reason for smoking is the social aspect. A kind of common ground rooted in self-destruction. It is a habit I certainly do not miss.
Along with the rings of blue grey smoke come all sorts of conversation. Of course! How could this be a terminal without intelligent repartee? When I say that, I mean some guys trying to convince themselves and others that what they heard on Fox News has to be right. There was a discussion of economics. Obviously, we truckers are experts on economics, and can be trusted to solve all of America's fiscal problems by blindly trusting somebody who said something that one time. For the one guy who was defending his point of view against the onslaught, bravo to you sir. I just thought it funny that people were still arguing about tax breaks for the wealthiest Americans using the same sound bites I had heard over three months ago. Some things never change I suppose.
One thing that did change, was that I did not jump in and go along for the roller coaster. These kind of things always seem more attractive to me when I am feeling emotional, like I am today. Instead of getting battered by people who will not cede any points, or even listen to a sensible argument, I kept to myself and my own thoughts.
By being busy all of the time, I find that I don't take much time to listen to these thoughts, and having a day spent being down (“down” as in “not driving”) they come flooding in. This is somewhat akin to yesterday and how I was feeling that I need ot be doing something else more important. Just walking to the Pilot (truckstop) today, I walked along the fuel island to the sound and sight of idling trucks. Huge hunks of steel, metal and fiberglass, symbolic of industrialized humanity. On the one hand, I am glad it provides for me when I need money. on the other hand, I start to miss Nature in Her simplicity. What hath we wrought? Diesel engines idle at 12 Hertz. I find it amusing that this is analogous to cats purring. Sure cats purr at the same frequency, but the diesel engine just doesn't feel as relaxing.
I spent some time today, getting in touch with my inner person, and I found a lot of pain. This is perfectly fine really, as it alerts me to the need to heal. Trucking may not be the ideal place to heal, but at least it will bring me to a space where I can. Yeah, a lot has been on my mind lately, and it all catches up to you when you stop distracting yourself with whatever it is. I'm sure that I'll be back on the road and moving soon enough. The feelings will still be there for me when I stop again, but being home will be a nice and welcome break.
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